


Judge Not, That Ye May Not Be Judged

by JoanneValjean



Category: Les Misérables (2012), Les Misérables - All Media Types, Les Misérables - Schönberg/Boublil, Les Misérables - Victor Hugo
Genre: Grantaire....Why?, I Don't Even Know, In Mass, M/M, Sexting, Undertones of Catholicism, modern a/u
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-06
Updated: 2013-05-06
Packaged: 2017-12-10 15:12:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/787453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JoanneValjean/pseuds/JoanneValjean
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Les Amis de l'ABC go to mass at Notre-Dame Cathedral.  Grantaire gets bored in the middle of the sermon and....Enjolras gets interesting texts.</p><p>Short one-shot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Judge Not, That Ye May Not Be Judged

**Author's Note:**

> FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER:
> 
> https://twitter.com/JoanneValjean

"........Judge not, that ye may not be judged," the priest reminded the collection of worshippers in the cathedral.. Enjolras sighed. How many times had he heard the same verse repeated? Too many for one lifetime.

 

Of course, he loved going to mass and went as often as he could, but STILL, they could try and put some variety in the homilies. Not the same, old, graying man who repeated the repetitive sermon over and over.

 

Grantaire was seated between Musichetta's fluffy pink storm of a dress and Joly, who was nervously looking at the priest as if he held the cure for whatever "disease" that he had that day. He was flipping through his shiny black flip-screen phone. Enjolras scowled at his boyfriend. Mass was not for texting.

 

A buzz hummed quickly against his hip, and Enjolras grabbed it and burrowed into his red jacket to hide the bright screen.

 

****  
Grantaire: Heyyyyyy E

Enjolras: Grantaire, we are in mass. Turn your phone off.

Grantaire: But he's so booooooring

Enjolras: Father Destler is not boring. Turn your phone off.

Grantaire: PWEEZ DON'T GO

Grantaire: E DO NOT GO

Grantaire: E

Grantaire: Txt me baby

Enjolras: Just stop it. See, mass is almost over. Then you can text me all you want.

Grantaire: Waaaaaaah I have needs

Enjolras: Grantaire, we are in a church. Not here. Go to the restroom if necessary. God gave you hands for a reason.

Grantaire: No He gave me a boyfriend with a gorgeous ass to be fucked senseless.

****  
Enjolras gulped.  
****

Grantaire: I like it when you close your eyes as you seat yourself on me. You get sweaty and shiny like the god you are. So sexy. Mine, all mine.

Enjolras: Grantaire.

Grantaire: Then your mouth as you suck me off. You're so gorgeous, you don't even understand.

Grantaire: Then when you come. You scream my name so loud that Hugo is rolling in his grave.

Grantaire: Also when I think of you, I think of you screaming my name as I thrust relentlessly, pushing you effectively into the mattress. You're so sexxxxxxay when you scream, your mouth agape and wide open.

****  
His phone vibrated again soon after that. Enjolras opened his phone and swallowed the hard lump in his throat when he saw the picture of Grantaire's hard cock. It was not something that he was unused to seeing, but it was completely inappropriate for that moment.  
****

Enjolras: Why would you take a picture of that?

Grantaire: Took it last night while I was thinking of you in the bathroom. Gonna go play with it now. Tata Apollo! ;)

Enjolras: Don't call me Apollo. And screw you.

Grantaire: Please do. ;)

****

Enjolras groaned and shifted uncomfortably as he walked up to get the Eucharist. The text session with Grantaire had left him embarrassingly hard, embarrassingly visible to the others. Even Éponine couldn't help but laugh at it and Cosette blushed profusely. Marius, as usual, was oblivious to the situation and looked very confused as usual.

"Body of Christ," Father Destler smiled, offering him the Host and then frowning.

"Amen," Enjolras replied, opening his mouth to take the Host. "Father?"

"Go to the restroom, Enjolras," Father whispered. "Please."

Oh. Well then. Father Destler wasn't known for being so exact about things so....well.. okay.

****  
As Enjolras slammed the bathroom door behind him, he was tackled roughly to the linoleum floor, a tangled mess of brown curls invading his vision.

"I knew you'd come eventually," Grantaire murmured into Enjolras' neck as he nibbled at it lightly. "Ready?"

Enjolras rolled his boyfriend under him and grinned brightly at him. "Are you ready for the fucking of a lifetime?" he retaliated.

****

If they came back for the closing hymn messy and dishevelled, receiving thumbs-ups from Courfeyrac and disapproving looks from some of the older churchgoers like the flower-sunhat-grannies, they didn't care a speck.

**Author's Note:**

> I apologize. Sex isn't my forté.


End file.
